Friday, July 1, 2011

The aftermath of Namma Metro


Some are delighted, some are cursing and others like me and you are plainly watching it. What more can we do? By the way, I’m talking about Namma Metro work that is going on almost everywhere in the city. Yeddi is cursing BMRCL for postponing the inauguration of phase 1 more than 3 times. Please excuse him. He was unaware that Metro needs safety clearances and approvals. He probably might have imagined the inauguration to be just like waving off those new Volvo buses in front of Vidhana Soudha. Damn those BMRCL engineers who didn’t put in the picture to him! And R Ashok is frowning that Metro doesn’t fall under his line of control.



Nevertheless, let’s hope that it’ll be launched at least by next Ugadi. I was just thinking some of the key areas that BMRCL might have ignored in order to keep the Metro, as Metro. I imagined Namma Metro strictly from a Bangalore’s local commuter standpoint. And I couldn’t help but laugh at myself. Within a week or a month of its launch, the Metro would go up! from a “Metro” standard to “Namma” standard. Here is how:

Coaches:

  1. All the corners of the metro coach is going to be turned to dark red color (I don’t know the exact shade), proud contributions by all manickchand and pan parag lovers of our city. BMRCL can save some bucks if they leave the coaches unpainted.
  2. The interiors of the coaches will be crafted by our fellow heart failed architects and designers. You’ll get to see I love you Archana, Vijay loves Swati.. and so on (carved with coins, compass and what not..) in all the coaches. Oh No.!!! The tagline “Har safar mein kahaani hai” is patented by Tata Magic. Poor BMRCL.
  3. You’ll find the labels of “Piles and Fistula clinic by Dr. Mehboob Khan and Dastagir Khan”, “Earn extra income part time/full time” and “Musli Power Capsules” on the body, window and every other possible place of the coach.

Stations:

  1. Metro doesn’t pass through most of our vicinities. As always, you’ll have to take a BMTC or an auto to come to a metro station. The rest is self explanatory. In case you take car/bike, you’ll have to shell out more money than your whole journey to park your vehicle. If the parking fee is minimal, then you’ll find no place. Double the trouble for you.
  2. All the beggars in front of the station will have very high expectations (more than your managers) on you since you’re a “metro” traveler!!!
  3. The rest rooms in the stations, within no time will be upgraded to the standards of those in Kempegowda Bus stand.

Politics:
  1. Ka. Ra. Ve will stage a protest to demand that one of the stations be named after Kempegowda. JD(S) will say one should have name of Devegowda. T. A Narayana Gowda, Sadananda Gowda will come into picture andfinally it'll not be named after any gowda.
  2. Pramila Nesargi will file a PIL that there should be dedicated coaches for ladies to Vidhana Soudha on weekdays.
  3. ________________________ (This is intentionally left blank and will be edited once something interesting happens (I’m very much certain something WILL come up)

If you really think you can manage with above things, you’ll be assured a safe, free from traffic and a happy journey. But above all, what I really, really expect with the arrival of Namma Metro, is that, people don’t get a chance to give one universal reason for all their hopeless time management skills.. “Traffic Jam”

P.S: If you find a metro coach seat in Sunday Bazaar or Shivajinagar gujri or someone’s home in Tannery road, please don’t panic. It’s just that you can never ever under estimate a fellow Bangalorean.