Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Love, life and other impediments - Part-2


Please click here to read part-1

I could not fathom why a police officer would call me on my mobile phone. If it was any official matter, my legal advisor would inform me of the forthcomings. Why would the police have to chase me; that too with an arrest warrant? I sensed something was fishy. But I could not understand what it was.

“Officer, My name is Samarth Irrinjalakuda, I am the…..” Oh Forget it. “I don’t understand all this. What have I done to get arrested?”

An accompanying constable spoke “Saar, you don’t see TV ah? Your girlfriend is there no. She has made all your personal life public saar. Better means you only…”

“Hmmmm…” The police officer gave the constable a blatant look. The constable, with an implicit gaze, stopped talking.

“Officer, can you please tell me what is happening?”

“Mr. Samarth, your girlfriend has taken your extra marital affair to media; the taped call recordings and dirty talk, pillow talk or whatever you call it; your sexist conversations, everything is being aired on Times Today news channel since noon. She has also produced before the media, recordings of your anti-feminist views on sex, your cynical views on women centric society, etc.

WHAT?

Are you really surprised, Mr Samarth? With my experience in cybercrime and CID, I could confidently say that those recordings were not forged. It was not you. Really?

Silence

Mr. Samarth?

Silence

Constable spoke again in a varied tone “Hehehehe.. Saar… in his silence wonly answer is there no saar”

I was totally flabbergasted and couldn’t utter a word. After a long pause, the police officer spoke again.

“Mr. Samarth, there is lot of furor out there. The women welfare associations have gathered demanding your arrest. It is quite a commotion in front of the police station. Since evening, all major national media is reporting your story. Social Media is abuzz with posts against you. The hashtag #HangSamarth is still trending on twitter. There is widespread protest in the national capital too. We have orders from the CMO to nab you. Women and child development minister Monica Gandhi has ordered an inquiry”.

His words terrified me. With a fretting temperament, I opened twitter app on my mobile phone. He was true. I had 6730 notifications and my handle had 4500+ mentions. I did not dare click on the hashtag. Fear crept inside me like the ghost patterns did to a horror movie watcher. For a moment, I thought of the consequences and I was hounded by the fear. I had no idea what to say.

Police officer continued. “As your well-wisher, I can give you a serious advice. Avoid media confrontations completely as much as possible. Talk to your legal advisor immediately and try for an out of court settlement with your girlfriend. If you go to court, media will create sensational news out of nothing, your family will be dragged into this unnecessarily, your wife will come into scene and then it leads to alimony and what not. These will rip you apart Mr. Samarth. I hope you know what happened to film star Rithvick Rohan in Konkona Rounit’s case”.

Oblivious to Tania taking it to television and the chaos that ensued, I tried to connect the dots. But everything seemed like against the odds. I could think of just two things. Was there someone else who was playing the cards from behind? I had no idea. Were Tania and my wife both involved in this? That seemed very unlikely. Probably Anita could be as clueless as I am right now. Suddenly something inside my mind was wide awake. It didn’t take a genius inside me to guess that. Now it was all in place. Oh dear lord! I just couldn’t fathom what mess I was into.

A.N.I.T.A. is T.A.N.I.A.

I recalled all the conversations with Tania. Salman Rushdie, euthanasia, medieval economy, matriarchy – all were topics of my interest! It was a perfectly planned decoy! Anita had executed the plan so flawlessly that I was just wheedling the response tailored to her trap. And I couldn’t realize a wee bit. A chill ran down my spine. As the halogens of the Police patrol shot two separate beams into the road’s slowly settling dust, I was confounded with what had just happened in my life.

When I first met Anita at MIT sailing pavilion, we both were students. I was at the Sloan School of management and she was pursuing her masters at MIT School of engineering. She was an impeccably beautiful girl with a brilliant academic record. After her bachelors from NIT Kurukshetra, she was pursuing her Masters in Structural Engineering, a domain which itself had inclined towards male dominion. She was the perfect concoction of beauty and brains I had ever seen so far, in a girl. I had fallen in love with her instantaneously at our very first meet. After my convocation, I had proposed her and she had accepted it. As soon as we both came to India, we spoke to our parents and they overwhelmingly accepted our love.

Just like me, even she wanted to rise and shine in her domain. Back in India, her project on constructing energy efficient buildings was critically acclaimed. Her design had won ASEAN center of energy green building award for 2016. A white paper “Structures with seismic viscoelastic dampers and energy dissipation devices” published by her had given her international recognition. Many state governments invited her to be the designer of their new construction projects. Her rising fame was recognized by the United Nations and she got a call by the UN Secretary General to serve on the United Nations’ High Level Advisory Group on Sustainable structures (HLAG-SS). For this, she had to be in Belgrade, Serbia for a period of three years.

Anita’s rising career aspiration was countered by my ego and my parents’ social norms. My parents wanted a bahu just to keep the family bloodline from extinction. Nothing more. But Anita always argued that India had the most overeducated wives in India and that if something that had to be changed, it was my parents’ attitude. My parents always saw her as a girl from middle-class family who did not understand the north Indian family dynamics. To be frank, I too was intimidated about her success. I could not get accustomed to the fact that she was professionally more successful than me. This always enraged Anita. She wanted to go to Serbia. But my father believed that daughter-in-law staying away from home for three years was a sort of premonition. And my mother always blamed her for breach of harmony at home.

The existence of this patriarchy in my family was something I had hidden from her even after marriage and this enraged her. She often felt cheated. Owing to patriarchal stress, even though I wanted to help her, I did not. Succumbing to family pressure, I could not keep even a single of the armada of promises I had made her. Whenever this came up to be discussed, I was totally taking my parents’ side and worse, I was always going against her. I tried to convince her; but she refused and was hell bent on going to Serbia.

My father and I discussed a wicked idea of forcefully putting my child in her womb, so that she is left with no options but to stay back. What followed it was obvious. A few months later, she told me that she was gestating. I was so meddled with the plan’s success, that I did not even make an attempt to congratulate her or even feel great about the news. Now, for all three of us, she was just a medium of fulfillment. More than the happy news, we celebrated that we overthrew her; we partied that her professional career was coming to an end. We rejoiced at her helplessness.

By the time the baby was born, her professional career was totally doomed. She came back to my home, only to be ill-treated by me and my parents. Doctors termed it as postnatal depression and told her it was very common after delivery. The more she resisted, the more she was tormented by us. She couldn’t manage without popping 2 anti-depressant pills a day. I made sure that media did an extensive coverage of what had happened to the most famous structural engineer this country had ever seen. Although, no one got close to the reality, every media house ran its own version of her doomed career. Anita’s condition had disrupted her family’s reputation too. Her sabotaged career aspirations were quoted as examples in the TED talks on Women’s career. For outside world, she suffered from postnatal depression of level 3 severity. But in actual, it was something else; something very different and something more intense.

As the jeep entered police station with the siren ON, hundreds of activists pounced on the jeep, screaming and raising slogans against me. One woman I caught my eyes with, took a rotten tomato and threw at my face. From being a lover, being heartbroken to being a felon, I was in a varied mood within last 8 hours. As the police officer escorted me inside, I was falling deep down, preparing myself for the long wait. I wiped off the rotten tomatoes along with the anticipation from my face. I knew my life had slipped very deep to insurmountable levels of despair. I knew my life will never be the same again!

I was charged for sedition, hatred speech and acts intended to outrage the feelings of women. The case was running in court. The same media houses which I had asked to cover Anita’s story, covered my case with specifics of every hearing in detail. One day, out of the blues, Tania had absconded and the hence case was dropped. But the damage had already been done. I could not think of undoing it even in my wildest dreams. The same media which had assisted me to put an end to Anita’s career had branded me the ‘Bad man of the Corporate World’.

Outside the court, the police escorted me to the jeep. I had clear instructions by the police to avoid media. I saw Anita at the far end of the court’s corridor handing over something to another person. As the jeep turned right and approached the corridor, I caught a glimpse of the other person. My eyes instantly recognized her. She was the same woman at the police station, who threw rotten tomatoes at me! As the jeep increased its turbulence and vanished into the traffic, I saw the woman doing a Namaste, with Anita clasping a 2000 Rs note in between her palms. Standing next to the woman, smirking, was my car driver.

Epilogue:

True realization of self in a man’s life arises when he encounters something in his life that staggers him into the need for self-examination and self-explanation. In the conference hall, I was sitting alone, at the far end of the corner, in the last row, which was away from the entrance. On the podium, one of the board of director was reading from the script:

“On behalf of the board of directors of Accel Ventures Inc., I take immense pleasure in announcing that Mrs. Anita Irrinjalakuda, will take over the responsibility of Chairman and Managing director of Accel ventures. The members, the statutory auditors and the shareholders of this fifteen million dollar enterprise have unanimously……”


As she entered the stage with her daughter, she threw an askew glance at me with a malicious grin. She had given me a taste of my own medicine, with a dose I would remember for the rest of my life.


Thursday, December 8, 2016

Does Amma deserve sanctity?

My mobile flashed. “She is dead and this time it is irrevocable”; said dad’s pun intended text message. After all the media tantrums about Amma being dead and coming back to life several times, dad finally confirmed that she is really dead. The only little perks of dad being in the press are that I get breaking news a little earlier. Since yesterday evening, the way media is fostering her accomplishments and her life, her path to righteousness and so on, I’m pretty sure she’ll attain sanctity after death. But does she really deserve it?

Even Superman is Amma fan!
I don’t know much about her past and since I grew up in the early and late 90s, I’ve been hearing/following her only from the past decade. If she has done very noble deeds in the pre 90s, by virtue of which she is getting this sainthood, then probably I am off beam. But I don’t believe that is any true. She was never a great admirer of democracy. I have always seen her narcissistic conduct in front of media, in party meetings and many other public forums. Not just common man, she made even the ministers in her own cabinet fall on her feet “literally” and receive blessings. Although my TN friends tried to convince me that they did it out of pure respect for her, I fairly disagree to it. Oh! Come on. In a democracy like India, there are lots of other ways to show benevolence to your superiors. Amma in locket, Amma in wedding ring, Amma’s picture in wedding card instead of bride, I mean that is ridiculous! Above all, Irony committed suicide when O Panneerselvam kept her picture in the Chief Minister’s armchair during her prolonged illness and he sat next to it giving public statements that Amma is still the Chief Minister and that I am just following her orders. Her dictatorship made Tamil Nadu a totalitarian state which in other words is a great blow to democracy.
O Panneerselvam taking blessings from Amma
Coming to her arrogance, the whole world knows about it. It was like she always flaunted arrogance and displayed it, carried it with her in forums where it was totally uncalled for. That stance of her only showed her self-importance. I do not know why people called her voice of aam aadmi and sensationalized the whole interview when she ruthlessly ill-behaved in a TV interview with Karan Thapar. I’m not a Karan Thapar admirer. But according to me that was a premeditated way of winning confidence of certain section of the society; an opening that gave her secured access to votes of particular class of people and nothing more. She was accused of changing ministers in her cabinet who was against her strategies and ideals. I’ve also heard from many that Nepotism was at peak in entire TN State during her tenure as chief minister.
Amma is in supporter's heart!


She openly accused Marans and DMK of corruption but herself had few cases against her. Among them, funds misappropriation and disproportionate asset cases gained national importance. When she was acquitted, she came back with more power and egotism and she used it to further her authority in the state and national politics. My memories of how public life was thrown out of gear whenever she visited Bangalore for case hearings with Z grade security is still afresh in my mind. When Chennai had severe floods and relief material was sent, her supporters stamping every relief bag with stickers of Amma spoke volumes on how much power hungry and autocratic she was. Her conceited image was actually celebrated by many subordinates and followers across her state.

I believe even for the native Tamilians and their economy, she has done more harm than good by giving freebies to secure more votes. Every Amma supporter in the state of Tamil Nadu state today has a color TV, mixer grinder, Laptop and many more things to lead a comfortable life and they even get a sumptuous meal for just 10 bucks, thanks to Amma canteen. But on the other side, in the name of freebies, TN’s debt has increased to more than 2 lakh crore. Currently TN’s fiscal deficit is at 40,000 crore.
Ksheerabhishekam (milk bath) for Amma by her supporters
But why media is sensationalizing her death by calling her “Iron Lady”, “Lady who broke Gender barriers”, Revolutionary leader” and so on? If death can obliterate all the terrible deeds of 60 years of one’s life, what is the difference between a true saint’s life and hers?  Does she really deserve it? It is for us to decide. This whole thing reminds me of a saying which I read somewhere:


Death changes everything… Time changes nothing!

Image courtesy: ThUnrealTimes and Indiatimes

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Men are from SLRs, Women are from selfies

I had read about disasters caused with the whims of selfies, but had ignored it as usual social exaggeration. But after looking at the number of people indulging in selfies in so odd ways, I started realizing that it is not an overstatement at all. I don’t think any other social problem has affected the mental health of tech savvy population as severely as Selfie Obsession. I’m not going to argue if men take more selfies or woman. It is much more than just numbers because both men and women do it habitually these days. Of late, I’ve seen lots of female photographers travelling around with their DSLRs clicking stunning pictures. But photography has remained andro-centric to a large extent. On the other side, selfies are becoming gyno-centric and the female population is over dramatizing it.  With selfies, I’ve seen more occasions of narcissism displayed by women than men. Yeah! I said Narcissism because I’ve seen girls craving for selfies. It has become a decree among the group of teenage girls who endorse it. It has become the symbol of vanity for young women.
Add caption
This incident happened in Jaipur’s Jantar Mantar. I was busy trying to capture the best of the monument and beside me was a group of people. The guide, out of pure passion, was explaining the astronomical design principles of Indians in 17th century and the affluence of ancient Hindu Sanskrit texts used in astronomy.  A lady in the group, out of blues, came to him and said “bhaiya ek minute ruko na please” (which translates to “please give us a minute”) and started searching something in her hand bag. I thought she was about to make notes. But to my surprise, she took out her phone, selfie stick and started taking selfies with other girls. I was shocked! I could not fathom how self obsessed and egocentric could she get. So much sham for just a pic of yours? I could not comprehend the fact that she has travelled thousands of miles to do nothing but take selfies. I just kept thinking; to what extent this selfie craze has rid humans of common sense.
Bipasha Basu with Pout selfie
In the same trip, the perturbation caused to me by my wife to take selfies was so much that my DSLR was just hanging in there for major part of the trip. From then on, I was just trying to keep a tab on things around me. Surprisingly, almost in every tourist attraction of Rajasthan, except the newlyweds and a “couple” of exception, the guys in the groups were trying to experiment with their cameras & mobile phones but the girls were busy taking selfies in whatsoever way. Back at home, when my other friends asked us how the trip was, my wife accused me of not taking enough selfies! By enough, she means posing and clicking until the perfect one is clicked. Her idea of a perfect Selfie is the one which is taken with everyone’s cranky and grumpy expression of utmost annoyance in order to make everyone look sexy and attractive. And if the place of interest is even faintly visible, that is great!
A popular meme on selfie narcissism by women
If you hate posing for selfies, you’d understand this. I don’t know what is more annoying than posing for selfies in public places. Taking a selfie is another thing altogether. At any given point of time, I can either make a face or concentrate. I am still trying to figure out how girls concentrate and smile at the same time easily. Most of the selfies posted on social media according to me is pretence. And the pretence comes with different filters to make it look even more pretence. Selfies by female celebrities with pout has reached all time heights. Damsels posting selfies with taglines like “hating me doesn’t make you pretty” and “phew.. I thought I wasn’t pretty anymore” are pretty common on my Instagram feed.
Posing for selfie isn't easy
I am trying my best not to be gender biased. But just look around and closely observe the female selfie enthusiasts. We all have that one girl in the group who changes whatsapp DP every day. A woman’s make-up time has increased because of selfies, says a survey. Do you know that selfies have sent sale of make-up kits soaring in the UK? Isn’t it is very apparent that selfie obsession can be correlated to all the possible narcissistic qualities in a woman; Vanity, cocky, self admiration and excessively conceited? Trying to be cocky in public places is totally annoying. I’ve seen that they scoff at the notion of Dos and Don’ts and continue taking selfies. The amount of vanity they exhibit… Ugh! Both on social media and real time, too much of vanity is utterly irksome. The internet is full of stories like “people who died tragically taking selfies”, “selfie accidents” and “selfie disasters”.  I truly believe that these are just the consequences of narcissism reaching dangerous levels.
Selfie while driving can be very dangerous!
It doesn’t come as a surprise to me that Russian internal ministry released a “selfie safety guide”. Tourism departments across the world are adding selfie sticks to the “Not allowed” category. I’m not saying that we should stop taking selfies. If you like it, please do it. Occasional selfies are good. Even deviating from the standard social custom and defining your own uber-cool is also acceptable. But please watch out. There are more modest things that you could have done at the moment instead of taking a selfie. Your social media feeds are not for yourself. It is watched by virtuous people too and you need to respect them. Mothers who take selfies everywhere are unknowingly teaching their kids nonsense. Imperfection at times is okay and that also is a way of life. You are not obligated to tell the world, from a restroom, that you look sexy. There are better places to do that. Please be wary and take heed. Because…..

Your self respect is always of a high decorum compared to your Selfie respect. 

Image credits: indiatimes, pinterest and time