Wednesday, August 24, 2011

An open letter to Anna Hazare

Dear Annaji,

I was really pleased to see this post of my friend on facebook.  Thanks to Anna.. Indian media has not taken notice of the whitewash”. If Indian MEDIA has accepted that there is something more important than Cricket, then I just couldn’t fathom the Impact! Perhaps, no Indian could. Hats off to you, Annaji .!!! You have done what none of Amma, Appa or Akka could do in past 50+ years... Bringing us together. Take a bow.

For a blasphemous political party who singlehandedly ruled the nation for 50 years, you’ve single handedly taught them a lesson. I’m very proud of the fact that after ages, you’ve made them bite their nails. I’m even more proud to say that, some of them, panic stricken after reading your version of Jan lokpal, bit their fingers in anxiety. For a party that has Price Rise, terrorism and scams in their agenda, you’ve made them realize that a common man is always mightier than a congress man.

And who has cast the magic spell of “Protest” in our people..??? Who has helped us realize our true resilience..??? From Ramlila maidan to Azad maidan, Freedom Park to JP Park, grounds to gullies, mails to messages… anywhere and everywhere, the support you got was just momentous and you deserved it. We appreciate it wholeheartedly. I feel that we, Indians (feeling contented to use this word on this instance) exhibited the meaning of unity in all the possible way. Indian youth now seem to understand that there is more than just ‘I’ in Indian. From the past 2-3 days, I’m pretty convinced that we are ONE small nation of JUST a billion people. I salute you.

But what makes me sad is that, while prominent leaders like Kiran Bedi, Shanti and Prashant Bhushan, Santosh Hegde and lot of others are working for a cause, there are some anti social elements like Arundathi Roy, Mahesh Bhatt, some brainless Dalit leaders and stupid maulvis, who are campaigning against your ‘crusade against corruption’. I’m not sure if they even have the faintest idea of what team Anna is fighting for.  May be they want to get noticed or trying to seek attention and become a celebrity overnight (Arundathi Roy has tried it every time, but failed miserably). To hell with those dumb witted opportunists. I guess Public is taking care of them giving them what they deserve. All the masterminds who’ve been altering all the anti corruption bills according to their necessities and requirements are now shitting in their pants, because your Jan lokpal bill has no flaw in the law.

While the Nation is seeing a Gandhi in you, what the corrupted netas see in you is a Yamraj who they can’t even bribe. You keep uniting all of us. We are all thankful to you and every true Indian is proud of you. Take care of your health. On behalf of a billion Indians, I wish you all the very best for your… oops... . our endeavor. Let the bill change from Jokepal to Lokpal.
“Lage Raho Anna Bhai”

PS: Amidst all these, one thing I really feel bad is that the “WALL” Dravid’s excellent performance going unnoticed. I really feel sad for him. But I’m sure he’s optimistic enough to understand what is more important.

(Image credit: Google and Ganguly Reddy)

Saturday, August 20, 2011

The way of Life called “Week-end”

week•end (w-k-nd' )


The end of the week, especially the period from Friday evening through Sunday evening.

This is the dictionary meaning of the word ‘week-end’. But for how many of us it’s just this..?? In the corporate world, week-end is not just the end of week. It’s rejuvenation time, time for a long ride, time to read newspaper, it’s time to go home, time to talk to your own family, time to get a haircut, time to attend CAT/GMAT coaching classes, time to play, sleep, shop, have sex and what not..?? To put it simply, weekend, for most of us, has become a way of life.

The corporate weekend theorem states that “The expression on software engineer’s face on a Monday morning and a Friday evening is never identical”. Monday through Friday, we think of the weekend, dream of it and wait for it. When it actually arrives, we start thinking of Monday’s work and spoil it. I’ve seen my friends switching off their mobile phones over the weekend just because of the fear of receiving a call from their managers. Once I myself bluffed my boss about a weekend outing plan to avoid Sunday work and spent the entire weekend in trepidation of being spotted by colleagues.

Initially, I used to find it really funny when my friends at workplace said “Happy Weekend”. Oh dear lord.. Happy Weekend..??? It sounded weird. But now, things have changed and I’m a part of the system. The “Happy weekend” robotically comes out of my mouth on a Friday evening, with a one hundred percent fake, moron smile on my face. But somewhere deep inside, it makes me sad to think of the fact that I’m no more a fun loving guy who had the endearing flair for mimicry and a cracking sense of humor to make people laugh. Today, I’m just a decaying corporate employee marooned in the mediocrity, slogging in office as well as traffic jams for hours together.

What a paradox. Have you ever wondered why a Government employee never wishes their colleagues a ‘Happy Week-end? We’re so much accustomed and habituated to reach deadline (I hate this ‘holy word’) that we forget everything that was supposed to be done on a weekday; we keep everything for the weekend. Almost everything. Well, I don’t want to talk about how to get rid of your intellectual rubbish, how to spend more time with your family and such nonsense crap. Just open your mailbox and you’ll find 100s of such shitty lectures over there.

But just think of it. When we retire and look through our life’s rear view mirrors, nobody will recall how many lines you’ve coded in a project or how many bugs you have found in a release. You are remembered for the silly things you did, a stupid PJ that you cracked or a team outing that was fun filled. So just stop being a workaholic and think of a way to laugh and make others laugh too.

By the way, my company has declared a holiday on Monday too. So I’m freed from this week’s installment of Monday blues. I wish you all, a loooooong, Happy, happy weekend…!!!!

P.S: This post is an outcome of getting choked in my office shuttle, on a Friday evening, in the middle of a 2 hour long traffic jam and my friend who couldn’t bear it, got out and said HAPPY WEEKEND..!!!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Spare the footpath please..

No issues at office. No traffic jams on my way back. Wow..!!! I had a good day. Or I thought so. As I got down from the bus and started walking back home, I heard someone honking and abusing me to give me way. I turned and it was a two wheeler rider. I told him that this is footpath. He started arguing with me. He asked me “is there any rule that says we can’t ride on footpath”. Well, that’s it. My adrenaline went so high that I wanted to lift the bike along with him and throw it as far as I could, some superhero way. But I could only yell and scream at him. Lucky him. And the good day that I thought of just a few minutes ago, was out of my mind.

Sadly, Bangalore is full of such great, thoughtful riders and drivers with an incredible traffic sense..!! People are killed on roads by the award winning, licensed to kill BMTC drivers. Any accident in Bangalore, an auto driver, for sure is directly/indirectly involved. F1 drivers turned call center cab drivers, 24/7 panic stricken female drivers… with all these people around, road safety has no meaning in Bangalore.

 BDA is doing a great job by widening the roads. They just forget to restore the footpath after widening is done. Forget road safety. It is out of question. If at all there is footpath in Bangalore, which in itself is a great thing (Thanks to BWSSB, BSNL, and KPTCL for the work they do). If at all there is a footpath, this is what you’ll find on it.

a) Roadside canteens
b) Paan shops
c) Self proclaimed smoking zones
d) Innerwear and pirated novel vendors
e) Bus shelters
f) Cars parked
And now, two wheelers in action. Pedestrians are horrified, walking with their heart in their mouth.

No wonder Bangalore is growing beyond imaginations. Phew…!!! Who could imagine vehicles on footpath elsewhere in the world..?? According to a survey by Secon Pvt. ltd., Bangalore’s Accident Severity Index (number of fatalities per 100 accidents) is 11.85 with 4500+ legal traffic violations everyday!

Our traffic cops are too busy blocking the roads and making the way for our politicians, accepting 100 bucks from every fellow motorist for the services they offer, great job. Take a bow traffic cops..!!! B-TRAC, a whopping 350 crore project (I’m wondering if they spent all money on just B-TRAC signboards) couldn’t provide enough roads for two wheelers that they’ve started using pedestrian footpaths.

Coming to you, dear rider, what the hell is wrong with you..??? Countryside dumb fucking shit head moron.. How can you ride on footpath? For god’s sake. IT IS FOOTPATH. F.O.O.T.P.A.T.H. How much time do you think you can save by taking footpath? 10 seconds, 30 seconds… a minute..??? On road, you do what you want. Wheeling, wheel spin, honk, Knock, park, pee, fuck, suck…. Whatever you want to. At least leave the footpath for pedestrians alone. Instead of hospital or graveyard, let them reach home.