Love – Absolute seventh Heaven

You know that weird feeling of being in love? At last, I’m very fortunate to experience it at the age of 26! It took me a while to even realize what is happening to me. From childhood, I never experienced such stuff which some people always talked about. But from past few days when it is happening to me, I’m realizing how true it was to them also. Love has taken me by surprise. Absolute seventh heaven!

I get up in the morning and think of you and only you. The freshness in the morning; I can feel it only after seeing you. I get ready and leave for office; en route I think of you. Envisaging that I’ll catch up with you in another hour makes me chuckle silently. I don’t care if people around me think I’m mad. In spite of some people warning me that you’re dangerous and that I should not think of you, I just can’t stop myself. I’ve stopped giving ears to people who see rationale in everything.

That awesome warmth, when I see you first time in office is beyond compare. You are the reason I work.  Words can’t explain that amazing sensation when I hold you in my hand. I just can’t figure out the way time flies when you’re at my desk. And these colleagues of mine will probably never understand what I feel for you; how much I respect you. Sometimes when I don’t see you waiting for me in the pantry, I feel so low and dejected. Your absence has made me understand that life without you is just vanity.

Dear.. or Shall I call you darling: I have a confession to make. It’s been more than 20 years since I’ve known you. But I just used to hate you from childhood days; so much that if my mom ever took your reference, I just couldn’t stand it. I’m not sure if you remember. I used to throw you out of my room, if you ever entered. But here I stand today; like a dim-witted moron; thinking about all the ecstatic moments we’d have had together if I had realized my love for you.

That whirlwind of mood swings; those unwanted apprehensions; work pressure at times; you can rid me of them within no time. The stress is nothing when I know you’re always there. That’s the kind of confidence and love that you’ve instilled in me. Now that I’ve experienced the sweetness and the wonders that you are doing to me; sometimes when I go to places, where I can’t find you, I feel traumatized. I can’t express how much I miss you when I’m stuck in hosur road traffic. Sometimes, I miss you terribly. 

I’m sure it’s not just infatuation or some time pass stuff. My love for you is eternal and unconditional. I just can’t stop myself from falling in love with you, each day, every day. My dear coffee, see what you’ve done to me!

P.S: My love purely for the pure filter coffee and not any Starbucks, Barista or even the CCD coffee vending machine @ office!

My Nokia Apptasting experience

Boss, if you are not aware of how awesome Windows phone 8 and Nokia Lumia series phone are means, you’re one waste only. When I saw Nokia Lumia 800, then and there only I wanted to buy one Nokia Windows phone. But all my friends kept on saying that “No apps in market, No apps in market” and scared me very much. So only I scrapped the idea of shifting to Windows. This Windows phone has No apps and all are old news. This Nokia fellows are there no, very intelligent only. Today, I attended this #Apptasting indiblogger meet no, I got my answers ya. There I came to know one innovative way by nokia to increase the apps in their market. You are asking how right? You only read on I say.

First of all, this #apptasting event was held in ITC Gardenia hotel in Bangalore. Good for all the @Themangofellow like me. The event was hosted by two fellows. One is the famous tech journo Rajeev Makhni. And co hosted by Vikas Khanna. This fellow has his career in his name only. Khana with an extra N topping. He is the famous cook who cooked for Obama also. Now you remember a? When hardcore techies and cookies (Not the Internet one I say) come together, it is full fun only.

So many new apps were demonstrated which were interesting. This citylens by Nokia maps is simply amazing. Just hold your camera in a direction and it lists you all the happening places around.  Some cool apps and some hot apps also. There was this app which lets you take videos normally and edit it to change the way it is presented. This Rajeev made Vikas do a ramp walk and took a video. Funny fellow. Within seconds, that app turned Vikas’ walk in Charlie Chaplin style ya. Cool na? And there was another app which changes your hairstyle totally. I imagined this Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez interchanging hairstyle means how it will be. Full funny app for timepass. 

Not just timepass apps. There is one dangerous app also. If this app gets into Bangalore police hands means gone only. Why means, it checks the alcohol level in your body and tell you whether you can drive home or hell. Full risk only yaa. There is an app that teach you how to dance in Gangnam style. Boss, if you want to sell these apps in India means you ought to have Annamma dance app, Balle Balle app, Kolaveri app and all. Gangnam alone will not help ok!

There were competitions to combine tech and cook. Afterall, it was Apptasting event you see. In One competition, you’ll be blindfolded and given one soup. You have to identify the ingredients. This girl has made too much of Tomato Soup at home I think. She guessed some 7-8 ingredients in Tomato soup and won a Nokia Lumia phone.  Oh my god! If oneLumia phone means ok. Again she gave some idea for an app related to shopping and won a Nokia Lumia phone again. One cooking and one shopping; she has two two Lumia phones in her kitty. I scratched my heads to answer. But still nothing happened. The power of women means this only. And I was very jealous of this girl ya. Nevertheless, she was little bit fat, but cute looking. *smiling*

Nokia is coming up with a contest: It is called “Your Wish is My app”. It works this way. If you have any problem and you have an idea to develop an app to solve that problem means you can submit that idea to Nokia. Nokia will develop an app for you. No idea? Get idea!!! How cool na! Just imagine everyone submitting one one idea means over only. Within no time, windows market will have millions of apps. Then I can buy Windows phone easily. So submit one whacky techie idea for Apps. What say?

Throughout the event, met so many interesting people. We didn’t whine. But we had wine. There was a chap aged 10 and he is on blogging to express his feelings it seems. And another fellow by name Tiger (No no. He is Human being only) had made four girlfriends on his blog and married one of them it seems. Couldn’t believe only.  And in between, Rajeev was cracking some nice witty jokes. Sooper anchor only. After the event, had a nice dinner and came home. It was very nicely organized and was fun filled. Good to know the strategies of Nokia to amplify their application in Windows market. Good luck Nokia. Hoping that #Apptasting will help you in that front.

 P.S: I’m not going to be thinking about this oldie aged 62 who blogs about sex and receive 2500 hits a day!

Marriage hall – A bizarre bazaar

Yet another post about marriage. Honestly, I’ve no crazy idea why I’m writing/tweeting so much about marriages. Yesterday yet another friend of mine went into conjugal bliss. And this time, I want to jabber about the agony that you may experience in a marriage hall; that awkward moment when you really don’t know whether to feel happy for the ones getting married or sense that awkwardness that you come across in the marriage hall. 

Face-off: At 26, I just can’t stop my mind from setting an expectation on the probable honeys and sweeties around.  My eyes will be constantly running algorithms in the front end for a match against my expectations. But most of the times my eyes end up on mirror cracking materials and Asian paint endorsers, and on the other hand – Gold miners from Bappi Lahiri khandan. Yielding bad search results. Even though there are no syntax errors in my algorithm, it couldn’t yield better results because the database itself is corrupted. Sheer disappointment or rather my fortunes.

Flash it on: By any chance, if there’s no television display in the marriage hall, you owe a BIIIG thanks to the almighty. I mean it. Because that graphics you see on television is the most awkward graphics that human eyes can tolerate. If you stare at it for some time, you’ll lose your vision. A little more than that; you’ll put yourself in the grave danger of losing your mind as well. This is what happens: First, the bride will dissolve in from the middle of Niagara Falls and the Groom will join her in lightning speed from a mountain that looks like tundra region; as if the bride and Groom are diehard fans of Edward and Bella. And suddenly you’ll see a man with yellowish teeth gulping pani puri and from inside his mouth both parents will crawl in like some insects followed by bride and groom disappearing to Times Square like a boomerang. And again bride will blossom from inside a flower. Watching this will make you curse Adobe for coming up with flash.

Food for thought: Whoever came up with the idea of taking videos in marriage dining hall should be punished by making him eat until his stomach literally detonates. This is the most hatred part of all the marriages that I’ve attended. How’d you feel if 1000 people are watching live, what and how you eat?  I really don’t understand why on earth some one wants to cherish the memories of how or how much a person EATS! In case this happens in your own marriage, you’ll only end up being disgusted to watch your own marriage video because of the fear of seeing people eating in their own ishtyle (Please consider Indian dining etiquettes here). 

Indian weddings, if done in the way they are actually supposed to; they’re a treat. Weddings are the moments for a lifetime. I’ve seen people competing with other weddings to make it more vibrant, richer and more colorful. I feel sad for them. The richness, culture and traditions of a wedding today are meddled with technology, show off and unwanted opulence. I feel that the whole essence of marriage has taken a phase shift from celebration to flaunt and status symbol. Marriage is no more a marriage.

Just go home and open you parents wedding album. I’m sure you stand by me!

Mall-o-Mall Weekly

Yesterday was total fun. A kick ass booz.. oops bowling at a brand new bowling alley in Orion. No doubt it was a fun filled evening. But being the mango fellow, I also experienced the other side of the shopping mall which is quite ludicrous. This post is all about the darker side that you as a non shopping fanatic may experience in a shopping mall. 

Traffic jam outside Mantri mall, a usual scene

All the enthusiasm was killed even before we entered the mall because there was a huge traffic pile up like 100 mtr even before the entrance. You may get an urge to pick up a facial tissue kept on the dashboard and thrust it into security’s whistling mouth, but we can’t blame him. Poor chap! He is just doing his job. After so much of time, I reached the parking gate only to read “Parking full” sign. I cursed the entire window shopping rebels inside and went to basement 2 and finally got a place to park the car. Walked a mile to find the elevator and talked about how big the mall is. 

As I stepped into the mall, two men appeared out of nowhere and gave me a weird look. For a second, I was confused if I committed a heinous crime. Then they ran their hands through my top to bottom and let me in.  In front of the very first store, one of the man’s hands directed at me, gestured that he’s taking a snap with his dad and mom and asked me to walk away. The expression on his face said “Can’t you see that I’m taking a picture with mom and dad. Get lost”. I started walking briskly in the same direction just to piss him off. I can bet anything on my life: That pic was taken just to put it on facebook. I, JJ and Anil exchanged looks and started contemplating on that pictures future:

41 likes and 27 comments:

• Hey nice! (I know you dumb ass)
• This is Orion Mall.. Correct? (I’m not so vile like you to take my parents to Banshankari BDA Complex)
• Your parents? (No.. I’m doing a CSR event for an NGO and they are some unknown beggars)
• Hey you look a lot like your dad! (Saale, mera baap hai. Voldemort thodi hai)
• Awwwww..!!!! ( by a gal)
• Uncle, you look nice in that yellow tees (Bencho, 1400 bucks I’ve paid)

I felt like IT industries, all malls should ban taking photographs inside the building. This clicking photo interruption happened some 27 times before Navya, Neha and Sam stepped inside ESPRIT shop that had FLAT 50% to 70% discount. I caught view of the obese aunties inside and wondered if they really get anything of their sizes here or they have any magical properties to reduce their bosoms. As usual, neither Sam nor Navya/Neha bought anything. And we collectively decided not to step into any other shop and headed for bowling. 

I tell you, if you are looking for some serious stage performance and theatre talents, then the shoe kiosk in the bowling alley is the place for you to hunt. People act and put so much of scene to wear those shoes, ufff! Even a person with OCD for cleanliness wouldn’t do so much.

And at one side of the mall, there’ll always be some brand awareness campaigns going on. This was a shaving razor brand and guys were standing in queue, only to check out the good looking chick doing announcements. Blimey!

Window shopping inside Orion

And all the Aam Aadmi like me associating the unknown brand names in their own way like Zara – and recalling “Zara Zara touch me touch me” song and giggling passively or Café NOIR – Assuming it is by some Malayali NAIR. Visiting almost all the shops and outlets in there with absolutely no intention of buying anything! If at all, we pay visit to the food court, we end up eating golgappas by paying 50 bucks a plate and silently cry (Yaar bahar paanch plate kha sakte the:( The great Indian rudiment goes on and on.

Houseful KFC

Needless to say, the McD and the KFC in any mall will always be houseful and poor husbands thronging in the queue with their kids cuffed on both hands, struggling to even open their wallets, while their wives are busy talking to their friends on how expensive these malls are and how they managed to buy a pair of tees in Westside. Bechara husbands yaar! I pity them

In the end, the same traffic pile up to get out of the mall; forget all the good(?) times we had inside and cursing the mall for exorbitant parking fees and finally eat happily in a roadside chat stall and call it our day!

For some who do this every week, we shall call this affair as “Mall-o-mall Weekly”

Image courtesy:thenewindianexpress.com, siliconindia.com and pardaphash.com

Malleswaram - The aura of old Bangalore

Ritesh’s post about Malleswaram on facebook made me all nostalgic. I recalled the good old days of my childhood, about namma Bengaluru, about Malleswaram. If you are not living in Bangalore from late 80s or early 90s, then you’ll probably not be able to imagine the way Bangalore has transformed from a tinsel town with more trees than its own people to a metropolis with more outsiders than its own. No offense meant; perhaps such petty distinctions don’t matter at all. In spite of such a radical change, there are some places which, even today, bequeath the Aura of the old Bangalore. Malleswaram is one such place. I have very fond memories of Malleswaram. So much so that if you tell a BMTC bus number I can tell you if it plies through this place. I’m glad to have recalled it by virtue of this blog post.

Malleswaram circle before construction of Grade Separator

Just 15-16 years ago, it was a routine for my family to visit Malleswaram on the eve of any festival. Be it Sankranti or Ugadi or Ganesha Chaturthi. We used to board the bus numbered 1, 91 and 91C (Not sure if these buses are still there) from Chamarajpet. It used to reach Malleswaram via K R Market, Corporation, Nrupatunga road and Seshadripuram. There was no Vikasa soudha then. So if I imagine today, it was like going inside Vidhana Soudha. Not even a single fly over and I’ve seen Nrupatunga road and KG road being two ways at that time! Yeah. Hard to imagine!

We used to get down in Malleswaram circle. Shopping for my mom would kick off from there itself. I always urged my mom to get down in 8^thcross bus stop because of a tonga stand and a public toilet next to Malleswaram circle bus stop whose aroma I couldn’t stand. But mom wouldn’t listen because she would miss picking up mango leaves (mavina yele) in 5^th cross.

Malleswaram is one such place where no one can go hungry. Then there were no Mantris, No Rajadhanis and no Maiyyas. But it was almost tradition for us to break off and stop at CTR for a crispy Masala Dosa, Sahyadri café for a hot cup of coffee and Janata Hotel which is world famous in Bangalore for its amazing crusty Vadas and dosas. I wish I had enough words to describe the ecstasy of eating local!

Crispy CTR Masala Dosa

After being fortified at Janata, CTR or Sahyadri Café, continuing the shopping along the side of sampige road, the best part for me were new dresses @ T D Shah (Not sure if its sill there). And then my mom would stop by Murugan Ghee stores in 10^th cross and finally the shopping would end in Malleswaram market with flowers and we would board the same bus in Margosa road and head back home, thus ending the life’s little pleasures, but in a very big way.

Even today during festival time, cordiality and sparkle fills entire stretch of sampige road; with colors, sounds, fragrances and of course we the people. Oh the bliss! Only people who’ve seen malleswaram during festivals can imagine what I’m talking about. Malleswaram is seriously old Bangalore. Though lots of changes have taken place, somehow the refusal of Malleswaram itself to modernize has to be appreciated. If at all there are some things about Bangalore that has not changed, Malleswaram definitely tops that chart.

Flowers @ Malleswaram market

Take some time off your shopping malls and meander through the vibrant Sampige road on the eve of a festival, to experience the cultural extravaganza of old Bangalore, “Namma” Bangalore. Give a day break to your McDonalds and KFCs and explore the desi tindis you get in this vicinity before you regret, or at least to tell your kids that you had gone to this place once, without which your love for Bangalore will cease to exist.

Oh wait. Without the allusions of Kadu malleswara Temple, Asha sweets, Geetanjali talkies, Iyer mess, Veena stores and my personal favourite Raghavendra stores, both Malleswaram and this post will be incomplete.