Of Lungis, Patapati cheddis and the visionary fashionistas of the 60s

I am not a fashionista myself. And I have always been hauled away from the Indian fashion of the 70s and 80s, thanks to the Raymond tailor stitched shirts and pants which my mom wanted me to wear for all occasions. Interestingly, one of the very few things that we, the Gen X and the millennials have in common is that we have collectively made fun of our forefathers’ fashion statements. Today, out of the blues, while spending a several thousand rupees on apparels to take on Summers, I realized, we were totally off beam about our forefathers’ fashion statements. They were essentially the trend setters and proponents of various vogue wears without even realizing that their dressing would become chic fashion 50 years later. It is pretty convincing that every trendy wear of contemporary India is just a revamped and tweaked reappearance of what our forefathers wore for their entire life. And we, instead of thanking them for life, continue to copy their fashion on one hand and make fun of it on the other.

Bandanas vs Hegl Mel Towel (HMT)

Hegl Mel Towel (ಹೆಗಲ್  ಮೇಲ್ ಟವಲ್) is a Kannada phrase which literally means Towel on shoulders. In urban dictionary, it has gotten its own meaning: “An uneducated adult” just because our ancestors were not concerned with chic fashion and used towels instead. Of late, the bandana, which was just a cowboy couture,has penetrated men’s wardrobes as well. The classic patterned kerchiefs which only girls wore a decade ago are being used today by the male fraternity too. Today’s metro-sexual man uses the bandana as Scarfs, with sleeveless shirts, as strolls, hair tie, helmet cap etc. The fashion gurus claim that it even plays a role in human health and survival. 

Now, what is a bandana? It is nothing but a multipurpose, patterned handkerchief which is bigger in size. In other words, it is that same piece of cloth called towel which our grandfathers carried on their shoulders, all the time! Today, we welcome people wearing bandanas on red carpet; but we synonymize our forefathers with towels on their shoulders as a country dweller and brand the entire union of men from 60s as HMT? How rude are we!

The truth is that we have shamelessly copied Hegl Mel Towel a.k.a. HMT, a foresighted fashion statement by our forefathers, without giving the due credits to them and just renamed it.

Hegl Mel Towel and Bandana

Flowing skirt with draped detail vs Lungi

My recent visit to Zara outlet took me by surprise. I was flabbergasted to see a lungi priced at 5000 rupees. While I was trying to digest the price, a saleswoman came to me and politely said “Men’s section on the other side sir...”. I was hardly able to comprehend for a moment. Out of conscience, I asked her “since when is lungi a woman’s fashion”? The saleswoman perhaps assumed me to be from the HMT squad and informed me that it was not a lungi. It was apparently called “flowing skirt with draped detail”. She explained in detail, its versatility, why it is worth five grand and how their designers thought of the airy feel that it offers. And she suggested that it is a great idea to gift my wife a flowing skirt with draped detail. I just imagined my wife donning a lungi and at that very moment I got an uncontrollable urge to pull my lungi up with my legs, fold it and say “Enda MoLe…”. Unfortunately, I was wearing jeans.

I still get forwards on Whats App on all the weird lungi ads. We are such resentful generation who make fun of lungi in and out; but have no issues in paying five grand for a flowing skirt with draped detail. 

Traditional Lungi vs Skirt with draped detail

  

Checked boxer vs Patapati cheddi

Of all the disrespect to our ancestors’ fashion statements, ridiculing the patapati cheddi is brutal AF. From movies to memes, social media to sycophantic behavior of millennials towards someone who is wearing the patapati cheddi, people have tried to sabotage the image of this wonder garment in all possible ways. But luckily, it has stood the testing times. Have you ever wondered what is the secret of a patapati cheddi’s mass success? To know it, you need to try it. Even I didn’t; until my character in one of the plays demanded it. When I tried it, it was apparent that the comfort of checked boxers that male fraternity across the world is falling for, is actually a fashion idea stolen from ancestors of our countryside. Checked boxer is nothing but a patapati cheddi with elastic waist instead of a string knot. Period. 

Again, here is another fashionista from the 60s which is shamelessly copied by our generation.Yet we make fun of patapati cheddi, but never mind shelling extra bucks for checked boxers. It is like copying an answer from your friend in exam and making fun of what he has written. Please stop making fun of this wonder garment.

Top row: patapati cheddis.
Botton row: Checked boxers

From“bell bottom pants” by our 70s cinema stars which has metamorphosed as “Palazzos/flares” to the practical and utilitarian thread “girdles” (ಉಡಿದಾರ) which have up-scaled as  “ornamental belts” and “cummerbunds” - there are plenty of such examples out there to prove that there is nothing new about today’s haute couture. It is purely evident that today’s chic fashion statements are just ramifications of the yesteryear’s no-frills fashion and they are just modified to look modern and stylish in an unconventional way. And of course, they come with an exorbitant price tag which we are okay with. *frowns*

Our forefathers did not have a sense of style. But their fashion was very practical, without unnecessary extras and above all, they were totally comfortable. Our generation should be deeply indebted to what they have given us to build on. Imagine the scene if our ancestors had patented patapati cheddis and HMTs. Our satisfaction should come from the fact that we are paying so less for an upmarket fashion derived from a century old style. Not by making fun of them.

So next time you see an old man with a towel on his shoulders and/or with patapati cheddi, take a selfie with him, thank him and post it on social media proudly with hashtags:

#Forefathers #FashionGurus #TrendSetters #PracticalFashion #PataPatiCheddis #CoolHMT

Image courtesy: Google
Patapati cheddi courtesy: Aravind Iyer

Of auto correction, Cyber-slang and technology chauvinism

My recent whatsapp conversation with a college friend of mine did not go very well. I was totally baffled and was fumbling to even understand what she was talking. The jargon and the chat acronyms she used were so much that for every reply of her I had to Google to find out what it actually meant. To save myself from embarrassment, here is an edited version of the conversation:

She: Tejjjjjj! Lngtym. Hw ya doin?

Me: Heyyy Rosh! I am good! How are you? Real long time. Last time we met was in 2008 I guess

She: IKR!

Me: ** Long pause** What are you up to?

She: M gd. Settled in US for now. But its AFU life here. Hey, DYK wr Sandy s?

Me: **Long pause** He is in Singapore

She: DAFUQ? I was der for like 8Y man! DUR our coll days?

Me: **Long pause** Yeah. Good old days J

She: Hey Y u tkn so lng to rply?

Me: Frankly, I am trying to catch up with your net lingo. Google’s not helping either: P

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She: Roflmao! K. GTG. Buhbyeee. XOXOZZZ

Throughout the conversation, I had this weird feeling that she is bi-lingual, speaking English and in another language called Cyber slang, unknown to me for which I was replying only in English. It felt weird and awkward. At the end of it, I was not sure if I was really happy we spoke after a long time. I kept thinking about it for a very long time. It was then I realized that I too am a victim of this text lingo to a certain extent. Oblivious to my own conscience, I found that I end up writing ‘thru’ for ‘through’; ‘n’ for ‘and’, ‘tomo’ for ‘tomorrow’ and so on.

Ideally, with all the digital communication platforms and the world of internet at our fingertips, our vocabularies should have been expanding, isn’t it? But it looks like it is not the case. Considering the exposure which my dad and grandpa had to literature and books, I definitely have an edge over them. But I can assertively say that my grandpa and my dad have better vocabularies than that of mine. I just paid a little more attention to what they did differently than us. I had my answers within days.

Spellcheckers:

At workplace, very often, I am required to review the requirement specification documents as part of my job. For the records, requirement specification is a document which lists the detailed description of how a software feature is expected to work. My most preferred way of checking for grammar and spelling correctness is MS word spell checker. Is it that I cannot do it without it? Most certainly not. But this gives me a quick overview of what needs correction and lists it out for me, boom! my job is done within a short time. On the contrary, my dad, even to this day, proof reads an entire article using his brains and eyes only. No, he does not depend on spell check. His brain is processing it for him since 50 years; which is to say that his vocabulary is getting stronger and sharper every day. It does not surprise me that my dad is called ‘walking dictionary’ in his office.Whereas for me; since the computer is doing it, the computer is getting smarter. Oh, the machine learning. In other words, the machine is getting smarter everyday by making us dumb, you dumber.

Auto correction

Whatsapp has become the de-facto standard for all sorts of communication. Text, Images, audio, documents and whatsoever format that it supports, the texting which is widely used, comes with a serious issue tagged with it called Auto correction. When I have interacted with acquaintances, there were disastrous moments of me trying to say something but ended up saying something else. I strongly have a feeling that they think I am some third grade dropout who cannot even form basic sentences. Few disasters due to auto correction were beyond repair; like the ones below:

• ·         Did you see Urine? Don’t miss.. Sorry Urine.. I mean URI.. Goddammit!
• ·         Hi Practice… What??? Sorry. I meant Prachi.. Ugh!
• ·         May be Dick by Hermaphrodite Melvin (While discussing about Moby-dick by Herman Melville)
• ·         Heyy.. Finally I found my GSPOT.. errrr.. GPS (She had fainted by then I guess)
• ·         I am yet to finish writing. I am a prostitute (I wanted to say Procrastinator.. Argghhhhh)
• ·         I once told my wife “I really want to meet you. But you are so damn fat” (She called me even before I said FAR not fat)

The most famous auto correction problem on iPhone

My grandpa never had all these problems because from Bhadravati to Bangalore, he used to send telegrams, wrote wonderful letters and he himself typed his messages on postcards using a typewriter. He even sent us handmade greeting cards on various occasions. On the other hand, The Roget’s Thesaurus 1941 edition and the Rev. F. Kittel’s 1894 edition of Kannada-English dictionary copies at home are almost in worn-out state with torn illustrations and title page re-joined with an adhesive tape. I can even see a few printing mistakes corrected with a pen. They are perhaps telling a lexicon tale that we are not willing to believe. 

A very old Kittel's Kannada to English dictionary

 

With Auto correction, auto-complete and other such tools, the flexibility in the language usage is lost by a huge magnitude. It is true that words don’t get their meanings from dictionaries. They get their meanings from how they are contextually used by writers and speakers. The more speakers and writers conform to suggestions by machines, the less creative the language becomes. Do you remember elders in your family asking you to read “The Hindu” and “classic literature” to enhance your English vocab? Now you know why.

The postcard typed by my grandfather when my father was born - Year 1946

Genetics and Language

Have you ever noticed this about yourself or someone around you? If you did your schooling in Kannada Medium, there is high possibility that, even to this day, you’ll do all the basic math (addition, subtraction and multiplication) in Kannada, way faster than English. Now there are demonstrated research works that claim our linguistic capabilities are directly linked to our genetic predisposition. So inclination towards technology for everything is more serious condition than it actually is.

Over dependence on technology has already done enough damage to our daily lives. Call me old school, but I really don’t like technology invading our private lives so much that it obliterates our ability to learn and master a language. There is a dire need to limit our dependency and put a stop to chauvinism that we are showing towards Auto correction, auto complete and cyber slang. Let our linguistic capability remain intact and do not obtuse us.

Sorry Rajni saar... I watched Kabali online

I am really sorry Rajni saar. This time with a saddened spirit, I am telling you that I could not be a part of the “Kabali” extravaganza. I tried hard to resist, but in the end I succumbed to the monetary inflation of movie tickets occurring at an alarmingly high rate in Namma Bengaluru. While my Chennai and Hyderabad friends were doing check-ins with “Kabali Da”statuses on facebook on the very first day of its release, I had no other go but to find solace on torrents. I myself am discouraged, but what to do saar? I am a middle class man who cannot afford to spend 1000 bucks for 2 hours of entertainment.

Kabali Da

Saar, I don’t have to tell you that the "The movie aficionado" inside a true native Bangalorean is not confined to just Kannada movies. If you recall your old days in Bangalore circa 1970s; right from then, we have watched Telugu, Tamil, Hindi, English and even good Malayalam movies in theaters. Post 90s, all your movies have run to packed houses with more than 100 shows a day in namma Bengaluru's theaters. Whoa! We are true cosmopolitan that way saar. Kabali was no different. In fact the Kabali craze was something that I have never seen or witnessed for any of your other movies.

But saar, of late, our movie watching experience in theaters too has seen a radical change.  With the demolishing of old individual theaters and advent of malls and multiplexes, the ticket prices have sky rocketed. This is where the problem is. Multiplexes are sucking the pockets of Bangalore's middle class saar! The engrossing growth that namma Bengaluru has witnessed in the past decade has infused a sense of envy among the neighborhood. But it is never a delight when it comes to movie watching experience for us Bangaloreans. Exorbitant movie ticket prices are haunting us, the middle class movie lovers! Bangalore has become neighbors envy, but not owners pride saar!

Kabali ticket price in Bangalore 450Rs and 500 Rs

Even though the advent of malls and multiplexes is seen in Chennai and Hyderabad, the ticket price has remained almost the same. A movie in Prasad's iMax of Hyderabad is never more than 200 Rs. The same movie in a Bangalore's multiplex costs a whopping 800 Rs. I don’t know why this kolaveri saar. I myself have seen movies in Big cinemas of Chennai for as low as 10 bucks. Yes saar, you read it right. 10 jujubi bucks kanna! But Bangaloreans cannot watch the same movie for less than 500 Rs. This is a double standard no saar? Just log onto bookmyshow, PVR or Inox website. Choose Kabali and plainly compare the ticket prices for Bangalore and other cities. You'll be amazed to see that tickets in Bangalore theaters are exorbitantly high compared to other cities.

Kabali ticket price in Chennai - 120 Rs and 10 Rs

Not just power cuts and traffic snarls; political apathy in Karnataka has hit the entertainment too. Unlike AP, Telangana or TN, there is no government intervention in regulating the prices of movie tickets here. So the multiplexes like PVR and Inox are selling the movie tickets at exorbitant prices and naming it "Gold Class". But why the same PVR does not offer "gold class" in Hyderabad or Chennai? No answers from them saar. Why the movie tickets in the neighboring states are not above 250 for any show, any movie? The government is also to be blamed. Our government takes examples of neighboring states while increasing prices of milk and other consumer goods. Why not for movie tickets?

Kabali ticket price in Hyderabad (Prasad iMax) - 150 Rs

When a new movie is released, an average Bangalorean talks about downloading the pirated version than going to theater. Let us consider my own case, which is also the case of lakhs of other Bangaloreans. Being a movie fanatic and considering that I watch Bollywood, Hollywood, Telugu, Tamil and Kannada movies too, I end up watching a minimum of 3-4 movies a month. I spend an average of 2500-3000 Rs a month on movies. The figure is way too high if I include my family. It is of course a burden on my pocket. So I’ve set-up a Raspberry Pi streaming network on my PC so that I can download movies from pirated sites and watch it directly on my home theater TV.

The home entertainment has seen a radical make-over with advent of torrents and file sharing apps. Firstly, it is "almost" theater experience for me. Thanks to HD content availability as soon as a movie is released. Secondly and importantly, savings of 2000 bucks straight. Thirdly, having to pay a hefty surcharge by yenna rascala service providers like bookmyshow (they charge 45-50 Rs as surcharge for 2 tickets) has worn off the hypothetical family of four. They claim to have so many offers. But I have not found even one kanna who has been able to make use of it saar. Lastly, movies at home are advertisement free. So many ads in between a movie are so annoying. People who are little less tech savvy than me are buying the pirated DVDs in open markets. People with smart phones are watching and sharing movies on their mobile and tabs. Things like these are working wonders for middle class family in keeping them away from theaters.

I still remember watching some of your movies saar. I think it was Baba and Padayappa in Nataraj Theater. With your entry, people shouting “Thalaiva, Thalaiva” in unison and doing Abhishekam from Nandini milk packets, throwing coins from back…. Oh! The bliss. It was worth every penny! It is only sad that middle class people like me cannot afford it anymore.

Unless our government wakes up from sleep, nothing happens and also you can’t do much. So forget it saar. I just wanted to tell you that I also can’t do much other than being apologetic only. I wish you reach even greater heights of your stardom. I’m signing off secretly wishing that piracy flourishes until someone does something about it. Good night saar!

Image courtesy – ibtimes.co.in and in.bookmyshow.com

Men are from SLRs, Women are from selfies

I had read about disasters caused with the whims of selfies, but had ignored it as usual social exaggeration. But after looking at the number of people indulging in selfies in so odd ways, I started realizing that it is not an overstatement at all. I don’t think any other social problem has affected the mental health of tech savvy population as severely as Selfie Obsession. I’m not going to argue if men take more selfies or woman. It is much more than just numbers because both men and women do it habitually these days. Of late, I’ve seen lots of female photographers travelling around with their DSLRs clicking stunning pictures. But photography has remained andro-centric to a large extent. On the other side, selfies are becoming gyno-centric and the female population is over dramatizing it.  With selfies, I’ve seen more occasions of narcissism displayed by women than men. Yeah! I said Narcissism because I’ve seen girls craving for selfies. It has become a decree among the group of teenage girls who endorse it. It has become the symbol of vanity for young women.

Add caption

This incident happened in Jaipur’s Jantar Mantar. I was busy trying to capture the best of the monument and beside me was a group of people. The guide, out of pure passion, was explaining the astronomical design principles of Indians in 17^th century and the affluence of ancient Hindu Sanskrit texts used in astronomy.  A lady in the group, out of blues, came to him and said “bhaiya ek minute ruko na please” (which translates to “please give us a minute”) and started searching something in her hand bag. I thought she was about to make notes. But to my surprise, she took out her phone, selfie stick and started taking selfies with other girls. I was shocked! I could not fathom how self obsessed and egocentric could she get. So much sham for just a pic of yours? I could not comprehend the fact that she has travelled thousands of miles to do nothing but take selfies. I just kept thinking; to what extent this selfie craze has rid humans of common sense.

Bipasha Basu with Pout selfie

In the same trip, the perturbation caused to me by my wife to take selfies was so much that my DSLR was just hanging in there for major part of the trip. From then on, I was just trying to keep a tab on things around me. Surprisingly, almost in every tourist attraction of Rajasthan, except the newlyweds and a “couple” of exception, the guys in the groups were trying to experiment with their cameras & mobile phones but the girls were busy taking selfies in whatsoever way. Back at home, when my other friends asked us how the trip was, my wife accused me of not taking enough selfies! By enough, she means posing and clicking until the perfect one is clicked. Her idea of a perfect Selfie is the one which is taken with everyone’s cranky and grumpy expression of utmost annoyance in order to make everyone look sexy and attractive. And if the place of interest is even faintly visible, that is great!

A popular meme on selfie narcissism by women

If you hate posing for selfies, you’d understand this. I don’t know what is more annoying than posing for selfies in public places. Taking a selfie is another thing altogether. At any given point of time, I can either make a face or concentrate. I am still trying to figure out how girls concentrate and smile at the same time easily. Most of the selfies posted on social media according to me is pretence. And the pretence comes with different filters to make it look even more pretence. Selfies by female celebrities with pout has reached all time heights. Damsels posting selfies with taglines like “hating me doesn’t make you pretty” and “phew.. I thought I wasn’t pretty anymore” are pretty common on my Instagram feed.

Posing for selfie isn't easy

I am trying my best not to be gender biased. But just look around and closely observe the female selfie enthusiasts. We all have that one girl in the group who changes whatsapp DP every day. A woman’s make-up time has increased because of selfies, says a survey. Do you know that selfies have sent sale of make-up kits soaring in the UK? Isn’t it is very apparent that selfie obsession can be correlated to all the possible narcissistic qualities in a woman; Vanity, cocky, self admiration and excessively conceited? Trying to be cocky in public places is totally annoying. I’ve seen that they scoff at the notion of Dos and Don’ts and continue taking selfies. The amount of vanity they exhibit… Ugh! Both on social media and real time, too much of vanity is utterly irksome. The internet is full of stories like “people who died tragically taking selfies”, “selfie accidents” and “selfie disasters”.  I truly believe that these are just the consequences of narcissism reaching dangerous levels.

Selfie while driving can be very dangerous!

It doesn’t come as a surprise to me that Russian internal ministry released a “selfie safety guide”. Tourism departments across the world are adding selfie sticks to the “Not allowed” category. I’m not saying that we should stop taking selfies. If you like it, please do it. Occasional selfies are good. Even deviating from the standard social custom and defining your own uber-cool is also acceptable. But please watch out. There are more modest things that you could have done at the moment instead of taking a selfie. Your social media feeds are not for yourself. It is watched by virtuous people too and you need to respect them. Mothers who take selfies everywhere are unknowingly teaching their kids nonsense. Imperfection at times is okay and that also is a way of life. You are not obligated to tell the world, from a restroom, that you look sexy. There are better places to do that. Please be wary and take heed. Because…..

Your self respect is always of a high decorum compared to your Selfie respect. 

Image credits: indiatimes, pinterest and time

Of flirting, love and social media

I never thought that one day I’ll write something about all these. I was a good boy. Social media has made me a wayward. When my friend told me this story of a hopeless attempt by a poor guy to flirt with her, I thought is worth a share. Apparently the guy seems to be suffering from Run Out of Topic (ROT) syndrome and when he couldn’t think of anything, he started off with her contact lenses. The questions he asked were so humorously, amusingly, entertainingly hilarious that I couldn’t help LOLing a 1000 times on office communicator. The chunk of the conversation:

Guy: “Can a person with fever wear contact lenses...?”

(She was mystified by this and couldn’t know how to react.)

Girl: Yes! Fever has got nothing to do with contact lenses

Guy: “If someone punches you in the eye, wouldn’t it be dangerous?

Girl: Even without contact lenses, it is dangerous (You moron)

And then it went on and on and finally she retorted

“Please stop flirting with me or else I’ll ask my fiancé to punch in your eyes and you’ll have your answers”

Life was really beautiful when we used to flirt with a girl, I mean a “real” girl. Today, the social media has fucked things up so much that even flirting has moved to virtual space. Can you believe it? Mr. Zukerberg probably has no idea what’s happening to nice single chaps like me. I feel so lost. This is most common among socially active guys and girls. And the consequences of flirting and love shifting to virtual space, is more heartbreaking than breakup itself. 

      1.    “Look at her eyes” is an old style. Now we can only look at her face book DP, which, like a 1970 hindi movie re released on blue ray, is digitally mastered. No hopes.

      2.    In school, I followed a girl till her home and she complained to teacher about this. Now I’ve learnt lessons and I follow girls only on twitter.

      3.    Remember those days where heroes used to introduce themselves as “Raj, Naam to suna hoga”    and “is nacheez to log Tej kehte hain”. Gone are those days. Today you introduce yourself only on the “About me” columns of the social media which is either copied from somewhere or filled with quotes from thinkexist. Definitely not the true you.

      4.    Just some years back, how much a guy and girl used to talk over bsnl landline (man, it was lovers lifeline) to get to know each other well; know simple things about the other person. Interests, hobbies, about their families etc. Today, from your sexual orientation to relationship status, your interests and hobbies are just a glance away. Bloody hell, your cousins also. Today, we don’t talk. We just type.

      5.    Just imagine your conversation with your girl: How’s your dad: Check out on facebook. How’s your sis: Check out on facebook. Had lunch? Check out on facebook. Where are you now? Check out on facebook. Are you gay? Check out on facebook.Technology has totally changed the meaning of WALL, from a barrier to a binder.

      6.    Thanks to the fast paced life of people who make up using wall posts and breakup using tweets. Talking about true love, it is in the real danger of extinction.

      7.    People used to write such beautiful love letters. Just reading them would make you fall in love. And here I am, unable to think beyond 140 characters at a time (No wonder I’m lost)

      8.    Do you even know that you can poke people without facebook? Try poking your gal the non facebook way.  It’s more romantic than a post with 20,000 likes on your wall. I’m serious

I’m not saying that social network is bad. Of course not. It is required, but just to socialize, to have fun. The moment you take personal things to social network, you make a fool of yourself, in front of everyone. You can tell the world about your changed relationship. But you can’t tell the experience of a tender cuddle on the virtual space. It’s this wholesomeness that indicates love. No social network can ever give you this wholesomeness. One wrong move and you’re caught in a serious emotional clutter and loss of composture. Facebook is already killing all the dating websites. Make sure it doesn’t kill your relationship. 

Image courtesy: time.com, datekarma.com and mismatchmaker.net