Ganpat – The “Dhoni after IPL mix”

Ae ganpat chal daaru la ||2||
Ice jyada soda kum thoda paani mila ||2||
Thoda table veble saaf kar de na yaar ||2||

Ae ganpat, ganpat -

(Gauti, Sharukh and other KKR boys performing)

In the Chennai, all over India
We aar the baays, we aar the baays

Bhaai main bhaai tu fikar na kar
Uski *** ki uski Bisla ki jo dekhe idhar
Bravo ko bata de kabhi ho gayi fantar
Sabki fathti helicopter shot se apun maare jidhar
Thoda coke shoke to Jadeja ko de na yaar
  Ae ganpat, ganpat
  Ae ganpat chal daaru la

(Gauti, Shah rukh and other KKR boys performing)

In the Chennai, all over India
We aar the bays, we aar the baays

Suresh Raina, Murli Vijay ya ho Mike Hussey
Jaaye saala jaake jahaan marzi maraaye
Srinivasan, Srikanth apni picture banaaye
Apun kya lena, jaise taise, paise kamaaye
Apun ko toh chaahiye din mein special chaai
Shaam ko match, raat ko superbike ride aur nind aa jaaye

Ae ganapat, Ae ganapat.... chal

Dekh paltke main hoon Srini
Har baazi se main hi hoon Srini
Tu dil hain main jaan hoon Srini
Tu dil hain main jaan hoon Srini 

(Gauti, Shahrukh and other KKR boys performing)

In the Chennai, all over India
We aar the bays, we aar the baays

Kaalis smart ho ya phir hove Gayle
Sabko to hoti only tere Jadeja ki
Koi saala faltu valtu tapka daal du main
Maar maar ke maar maar ke phod daalta hoon main
Thoda runner up ka bhi paisa tu dena yaar
Thoda hero impulse bike mujhe dena yaar

(Gauti, Sharukh and other KKR boys performing)

In the Chennai, all over India
We aar the bays, we aar the baays

Par yeh Gauti kaun hai..??

This post is for fun and only pure fun. It depicts nothing else against IPL or any franchises. I have nothing personal against CSK, KKR or IPL. In fact I'ma  huge IPL fan by myself. Any resemblance with any person in whatsoever way is truly unintentional and co incidental.

 Original Lyrics: Dev Kohli

Of flirting, love and social media

I never thought that one day I’ll write something about all these. I was a good boy. Social media has made me a wayward. When my friend told me this story of a hopeless attempt by a poor guy to flirt with her, I thought is worth a share. Apparently the guy seems to be suffering from Run Out of Topic (ROT) syndrome and when he couldn’t think of anything, he started off with her contact lenses. The questions he asked were so humorously, amusingly, entertainingly hilarious that I couldn’t help LOLing a 1000 times on office communicator. The chunk of the conversation:

Guy: “Can a person with fever wear contact lenses...?”

(She was mystified by this and couldn’t know how to react.)

Girl: Yes! Fever has got nothing to do with contact lenses

Guy: “If someone punches you in the eye, wouldn’t it be dangerous?

Girl: Even without contact lenses, it is dangerous (You moron)

And then it went on and on and finally she retorted

“Please stop flirting with me or else I’ll ask my fiancé to punch in your eyes and you’ll have your answers”

Life was really beautiful when we used to flirt with a girl, I mean a “real” girl. Today, the social media has fucked things up so much that even flirting has moved to virtual space. Can you believe it? Mr. Zukerberg probably has no idea what’s happening to nice single chaps like me. I feel so lost. This is most common among socially active guys and girls. And the consequences of flirting and love shifting to virtual space, is more heartbreaking than breakup itself. 

      1.    “Look at her eyes” is an old style. Now we can only look at her face book DP, which, like a 1970 hindi movie re released on blue ray, is digitally mastered. No hopes.

      2.    In school, I followed a girl till her home and she complained to teacher about this. Now I’ve learnt lessons and I follow girls only on twitter.

      3.    Remember those days where heroes used to introduce themselves as “Raj, Naam to suna hoga”    and “is nacheez to log Tej kehte hain”. Gone are those days. Today you introduce yourself only on the “About me” columns of the social media which is either copied from somewhere or filled with quotes from thinkexist. Definitely not the true you.

      4.    Just some years back, how much a guy and girl used to talk over bsnl landline (man, it was lovers lifeline) to get to know each other well; know simple things about the other person. Interests, hobbies, about their families etc. Today, from your sexual orientation to relationship status, your interests and hobbies are just a glance away. Bloody hell, your cousins also. Today, we don’t talk. We just type.

      5.    Just imagine your conversation with your girl: How’s your dad: Check out on facebook. How’s your sis: Check out on facebook. Had lunch? Check out on facebook. Where are you now? Check out on facebook. Are you gay? Check out on facebook.Technology has totally changed the meaning of WALL, from a barrier to a binder.

      6.    Thanks to the fast paced life of people who make up using wall posts and breakup using tweets. Talking about true love, it is in the real danger of extinction.

      7.    People used to write such beautiful love letters. Just reading them would make you fall in love. And here I am, unable to think beyond 140 characters at a time (No wonder I’m lost)

      8.    Do you even know that you can poke people without facebook? Try poking your gal the non facebook way.  It’s more romantic than a post with 20,000 likes on your wall. I’m serious

I’m not saying that social network is bad. Of course not. It is required, but just to socialize, to have fun. The moment you take personal things to social network, you make a fool of yourself, in front of everyone. You can tell the world about your changed relationship. But you can’t tell the experience of a tender cuddle on the virtual space. It’s this wholesomeness that indicates love. No social network can ever give you this wholesomeness. One wrong move and you’re caught in a serious emotional clutter and loss of composture. Facebook is already killing all the dating websites. Make sure it doesn’t kill your relationship. 

Image courtesy: time.com, datekarma.com and mismatchmaker.net

Why Sachin should not be awarded Bharata Ratna

My hatred for UPA has reached the threshold. How could they even think of tweaking the eligibility criteria for the nation’s highest civilian award, just so that some influential people could get it? By the time I publish this, all Sachin’s fans must be ready with rotten tomatoes, but I have to say it. Sachin Tendulkar getting Bharata Ratna just on the basis of appreciating his aptitude in cricket is not justified in anyway. 

UPA’s new eligibility for Bharata Ratna “any human being who has excelled in just any field of human endeavour” is absolutely flawed. If this is the measure, then Rajnikanth, N.R Narayana Murthy and Rajdeep Sardesai are also eligible to be awarded Bharata Ratna because they have excelled in some field of human endeavor. With this new eligibility, Bharata Ratna’s caliber has been brought down to a sms voting contest on a television reality show. With this, UPA has added one more feather to its hall of shame.

In India, it doesn’t come as a surprise that celebrities like Sachin and SRK get superfluous recognition than people like CNR Rao and Sam Pitroda because of the unwanted importance given to entertainment sector. It’s true that when Sachin plays with full command, the whole world is watching. But, Sachin, other than entertaining a billion Indians a million times, hasn’t done anything humanitarian. He’s more of a mass entertainer than a real hero. They call him the god of cricket. But how many times his leadership skills are questioned? It’s a fact that everyone has to agree that Sachin (alone) did not bring back the world cup to India. 

 I feel Sachin don’t deserve Bharata Ratna on the simple grounds that most of the past (I don’t say all) Bharata Ratna Awardees have dedicated their lives to the service of mankind, for the goodwill and betterment of India. Sachin’s sportsmanship and mass entertainment should not be compared to the humanitarian works of Nelson Mandela and Mother Theresa or the pioneers of science like Abdul Kalam and C.V Raman or the statesmanship of Vishveshvaraya. It makes no sense at all for someone to be awarded the highest civilian award of a nation for his individual sporting talent.

Personally, I don’t have anything against Sachin. In fact, I’ve always loved his cricketing skills. But Bharata Ratna is deserved to be awarded to people who have displayed remarkable level of integrity, punctuality, quality, reliability and purity in their field of endeavors. Bharata Ratna– “The Jewel of India” if awarded to individual talents ; no more remains the highest honorary award of India.

 
Let Sachin remain the “Jewel of Indian cricket” and Bharata Ratna, continue to be awarded to the real “Jewels of India”

Image source: reuters.com and wikipedia

The mid summer contemplation

It’s been pretty long time since I wanted to write something. But the chores kept me busy, very busy. Back to back meetings, calls that lasts till late night, eat-work-sleep has been the agenda for quite some time now. And of late, like two lovers on a first date, I’m suffering from ROT(Running Out of Topic) syndrome. So there’s nothing exclusive about this post as well. Just my thought process activated.

Thanks for all the overwhelming birthday wishes. I’ve always felt really good to have sooo many good friends. Waking up to superb Champagne, a bunch of beautiful roses (I know that’s too girlish) and a yummy butterscotch cake @ 6.30am on a Sunday morning is really fantastic start to your birthday. Lunch @ bobby dhaba followed by bowling and homemade pani puri sums up to an awesome day. I wish I could mention the wacky and whimsical birthday gifts I got by Anil, Navya, JJ and Neha, but never mind. And Meera, thanks for the courier. You did manage to get it delivered right on April first..!!

Now that I’ve crossed 25, I consider myself of being out of quarter life crisis. Life is taking diversions on steep curves. On a serious note, with 8 of my closest friends getting into nuptials, (I can’t believe it), sometimes I think is it the peer pressure that seemingly building up slowly? Naah.. I’m too busy thinking about managing my finances more than fantasizing about Katy Perry and Kareena Kapoor. So I believe I’m on a safer side. I can sense that my revolutionary and radical thinking is slowly substituted by Patience and perseverance. Uncleness is slowly plunging in. But I’m resisting hard. I’ve also realized that using too many F words won’t make the reactionary, a rebellion. Responsibilities are forcing me to come out of the happy go lucky state. In all, the prime of life is really boring.

I’m hoping that IPL will ensure that April and May isn’t really that dreary. My new phone is helping me watch movies and series whilst the 2.5 hrs of travelling every day. My HD movie collection is a real savior @ home. After more than 100 bad experiences with the Bangalore auto driver, I chucked them for good and now Rag’s Victor is running a supreme 55 kmpl (I silently show my mid finger while overtaking autos). With All India Bakchod and Dr. Sheldon Cooper, I’ve got back my weirdo laughter (For all those who know how I laugh)! 

Alas, The prime of life may be boring, nevertheless, the secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.!!