Ganpat – The “Dhoni after IPL mix”

Ae ganpat chal daaru la ||2||
Ice jyada soda kum thoda paani mila ||2||
Thoda table veble saaf kar de na yaar ||2||

Ae ganpat, ganpat -

(Gauti, Sharukh and other KKR boys performing)

In the Chennai, all over India
We aar the baays, we aar the baays

Bhaai main bhaai tu fikar na kar
Uski *** ki uski Bisla ki jo dekhe idhar
Bravo ko bata de kabhi ho gayi fantar
Sabki fathti helicopter shot se apun maare jidhar
Thoda coke shoke to Jadeja ko de na yaar
  Ae ganpat, ganpat
  Ae ganpat chal daaru la

(Gauti, Shah rukh and other KKR boys performing)

In the Chennai, all over India
We aar the bays, we aar the baays

Suresh Raina, Murli Vijay ya ho Mike Hussey
Jaaye saala jaake jahaan marzi maraaye
Srinivasan, Srikanth apni picture banaaye
Apun kya lena, jaise taise, paise kamaaye
Apun ko toh chaahiye din mein special chaai
Shaam ko match, raat ko superbike ride aur nind aa jaaye

Ae ganapat, Ae ganapat.... chal

Dekh paltke main hoon Srini
Har baazi se main hi hoon Srini
Tu dil hain main jaan hoon Srini
Tu dil hain main jaan hoon Srini 

(Gauti, Shahrukh and other KKR boys performing)

In the Chennai, all over India
We aar the bays, we aar the baays

Kaalis smart ho ya phir hove Gayle
Sabko to hoti only tere Jadeja ki
Koi saala faltu valtu tapka daal du main
Maar maar ke maar maar ke phod daalta hoon main
Thoda runner up ka bhi paisa tu dena yaar
Thoda hero impulse bike mujhe dena yaar

(Gauti, Sharukh and other KKR boys performing)

In the Chennai, all over India
We aar the bays, we aar the baays

Par yeh Gauti kaun hai..??

This post is for fun and only pure fun. It depicts nothing else against IPL or any franchises. I have nothing personal against CSK, KKR or IPL. In fact I'ma  huge IPL fan by myself. Any resemblance with any person in whatsoever way is truly unintentional and co incidental.

 Original Lyrics: Dev Kohli

Of flirting, love and social media

I never thought that one day I’ll write something about all these. I was a good boy. Social media has made me a wayward. When my friend told me this story of a hopeless attempt by a poor guy to flirt with her, I thought is worth a share. Apparently the guy seems to be suffering from Run Out of Topic (ROT) syndrome and when he couldn’t think of anything, he started off with her contact lenses. The questions he asked were so humorously, amusingly, entertainingly hilarious that I couldn’t help LOLing a 1000 times on office communicator. The chunk of the conversation:

Guy: “Can a person with fever wear contact lenses...?”

(She was mystified by this and couldn’t know how to react.)

Girl: Yes! Fever has got nothing to do with contact lenses

Guy: “If someone punches you in the eye, wouldn’t it be dangerous?

Girl: Even without contact lenses, it is dangerous (You moron)

And then it went on and on and finally she retorted

“Please stop flirting with me or else I’ll ask my fiancé to punch in your eyes and you’ll have your answers”

Life was really beautiful when we used to flirt with a girl, I mean a “real” girl. Today, the social media has fucked things up so much that even flirting has moved to virtual space. Can you believe it? Mr. Zukerberg probably has no idea what’s happening to nice single chaps like me. I feel so lost. This is most common among socially active guys and girls. And the consequences of flirting and love shifting to virtual space, is more heartbreaking than breakup itself. 

      1.    “Look at her eyes” is an old style. Now we can only look at her face book DP, which, like a 1970 hindi movie re released on blue ray, is digitally mastered. No hopes.

      2.    In school, I followed a girl till her home and she complained to teacher about this. Now I’ve learnt lessons and I follow girls only on twitter.

      3.    Remember those days where heroes used to introduce themselves as “Raj, Naam to suna hoga”    and “is nacheez to log Tej kehte hain”. Gone are those days. Today you introduce yourself only on the “About me” columns of the social media which is either copied from somewhere or filled with quotes from thinkexist. Definitely not the true you.

      4.    Just some years back, how much a guy and girl used to talk over bsnl landline (man, it was lovers lifeline) to get to know each other well; know simple things about the other person. Interests, hobbies, about their families etc. Today, from your sexual orientation to relationship status, your interests and hobbies are just a glance away. Bloody hell, your cousins also. Today, we don’t talk. We just type.

      5.    Just imagine your conversation with your girl: How’s your dad: Check out on facebook. How’s your sis: Check out on facebook. Had lunch? Check out on facebook. Where are you now? Check out on facebook. Are you gay? Check out on facebook.Technology has totally changed the meaning of WALL, from a barrier to a binder.

      6.    Thanks to the fast paced life of people who make up using wall posts and breakup using tweets. Talking about true love, it is in the real danger of extinction.

      7.    People used to write such beautiful love letters. Just reading them would make you fall in love. And here I am, unable to think beyond 140 characters at a time (No wonder I’m lost)

      8.    Do you even know that you can poke people without facebook? Try poking your gal the non facebook way.  It’s more romantic than a post with 20,000 likes on your wall. I’m serious

I’m not saying that social network is bad. Of course not. It is required, but just to socialize, to have fun. The moment you take personal things to social network, you make a fool of yourself, in front of everyone. You can tell the world about your changed relationship. But you can’t tell the experience of a tender cuddle on the virtual space. It’s this wholesomeness that indicates love. No social network can ever give you this wholesomeness. One wrong move and you’re caught in a serious emotional clutter and loss of composture. Facebook is already killing all the dating websites. Make sure it doesn’t kill your relationship. 

Image courtesy: time.com, datekarma.com and mismatchmaker.net