Yet another post about marriage. Honestly,
I’ve no crazy idea why I’m writing/tweeting so much about marriages. Yesterday
yet another friend of mine went into conjugal bliss. And this time, I want to
jabber about the agony that you may experience in a marriage hall; that awkward
moment when you really don’t know whether to feel happy for the ones getting
married or sense that awkwardness that you come across in the marriage hall.
Face-off:
At 26, I just can’t stop my mind from setting an
expectation on the probable honeys and sweeties around. My eyes will be constantly running algorithms
in the front end for a match against my expectations. But most of the times my eyes
end up on mirror cracking materials and Asian paint endorsers, and on the other
hand – Gold miners from Bappi Lahiri khandan. Yielding bad search results. Even
though there are no syntax errors in my algorithm, it couldn’t yield better
results because the database itself is corrupted. Sheer disappointment or
rather my fortunes.
Flash
it on: By any chance, if there’s no television
display in the marriage hall, you owe a BIIIG thanks to the almighty. I mean
it. Because that graphics you see on television is the most awkward graphics that
human eyes can tolerate. If you stare at it for some time, you’ll lose your
vision. A little more than that; you’ll put yourself in the grave danger of
losing your mind as well. This is what happens: First, the bride will dissolve
in from the middle of Niagara Falls and the Groom will join her in lightning
speed from a mountain that looks like tundra region; as if the bride and Groom
are diehard fans of Edward and Bella. And suddenly you’ll see a man with
yellowish teeth gulping pani puri and from inside his mouth both parents will
crawl in like some insects followed by bride and groom disappearing to Times
Square like a boomerang. And again bride will blossom from inside a flower. Watching
this will make you curse Adobe for coming up with flash.
Food
for thought: Whoever came up with the idea of taking
videos in marriage dining hall should be punished by making him eat until his
stomach literally detonates. This is the most hatred part of all the marriages
that I’ve attended. How’d you feel if 1000 people are watching live, what and
how you eat? I really don’t understand why
on earth some one wants to cherish the memories of how or how much a person
EATS! In case this happens in your own marriage, you’ll only end up being disgusted
to watch your own marriage video because of the fear of seeing people eating in
their own ishtyle (Please consider Indian dining etiquettes here).
Indian weddings, if done in the way they
are actually supposed to; they’re a treat. Weddings are the moments for a
lifetime. I’ve seen people competing with other weddings to make it more
vibrant, richer and more colorful. I feel sad for them. The richness, culture
and traditions of a wedding today are meddled with technology, show off and unwanted
opulence. I feel that the whole essence of marriage has taken a phase shift
from celebration to flaunt and status symbol. Marriage is no more a marriage.
Just go home and open you parents wedding
album. I’m sure you stand by me!
