Chapter-2
Ajay could not believe what he had just
witnessed. He took a step back and gestured Sanjana to come silently and see the
horror for herself. They stood at the entrance of the backyard and just stared
at each other in shock. Facing the wall, Mrs. Rajeshwari continued the
conversation…..with imaginary Sundara Bai. Not just her voice, as Mrs.
Rajeshwari switched characters, there were significant changes in her voice
modulation, body language and her actions! Ajay had never seen such remarkable
biological differences emerging out of the same body. Sanjana was shuddered! All
these days, Sundara Bai was just a fictional character. And they did not get
the slightest hint of this horror for two long months! They were dumbfounded of
what had become of Mrs. Rajeshwari.
It took a week for the psychiatrist to
understand what had happened to Mrs. Rajeshwari. After knowing her early days
at Bombay, assessing her medical history, her daily activities and with inputs
from Ajay, psychiatrist concluded the case.
Dissociative
identity disorder.
The Psychiatrist explained his mother’s
case to Ajay.
“DID
or multiple personality disorder is a mental disorder characterized by at least
two distinct state of being in same person. Presentations, however, are very
much variable between the characters.”
“But
doctor, how could my mother….”
“There
are lot of reasons why this can happen to a person. I believe, in your mother’s
case, it is depression. Prolonged suppression of her feelings from a very young
age had already disturbed her mind to a very large extent. And the loneliness
that she experienced here worked as a catalyst. A tiny spark by Shanta Bai,
your maid, is all it took for her to create Sundara Bai in her mind and
eventually manifest out of her own body.”
“Doctor, Can she come out of this?”
The doctor tried to be as assertive as
possible.
“If
the mind can do this to your own body, it also suggests that there is
positively the same potential for healing… Because they are exhibited out of
the same mind”.
“Please
tell me that my mom will get back to normal”
“Well, most people do. But the timeframe
cannot be ascertained specifically. Few get well within months and a few others
take years! For the treatment, we’ll put her through a couple of therapies -
psychotherapy will improve her mental well-being. Dialectical behavior therapy
(DBT) which will help her combat the triggers that lead to the manifestation of
Sundara Bai. And with a few medications, of course. But most importantly, the
supportive care from you is very vital for her wellbeing”.
In the therapy room, where Mrs. Rajeshwari
opened up slowly about her loneliness, how it affected her and how she buried
her feelings deep inside her so that her son is not distressed, Ajay was
standing outside, haplessly listening to the words of love his mother was
showering on him even from her subconscious mind. Sanjana’s silence was a
reflection of her regretful acknowledgement of what she did or did not do. When
his mother talked about her suicidal ideations, he broke down. That was the
moment of realization for him; that moment of epiphany which led him to get to
the right perspective of what his mother actually longed for. At that very
moment, he decided to do all he can to get his mother back to her usual self.
Over a period of time, the therapy sessions
started showing results. The medication helped her increase the uptake of
serotonin in the brain. She got back to her senses slowly. She started
listening to her favorite bhajans. Her medication course was finally over and
her circadian clock started functioning at normal schedule. It took a profusion of time and effort for
Mrs. Rajeshwari to come out of it. Sanjana resigned her high paying job and
diverted her entire energy and attention for mother-in-law’s well-being. Ajay
was equally getting involved in his mother’s well-being.
After a long time, a terrible constraint
seemed to settle down. Without
quite knowing what had happened, Mrs. Rajeshwari came back to life. Everything
had changed. Yet nothing seemed so apparent except the wall at the backyard.
Ajay knew that the wall would haunt him for the rest of his life.
Epilogue
Two
years later….
The monsoon had just stopped with a mix of burst
and lull. It was a very pleasant evening and the verandah was flocked with school
kids taking mathematics tuitions from Mrs. Rajeshwari. The cool breeze that
blew brought in a wave of freshness and filled the entire verandah. Along with
the wind, a book glided smoothly and halted in front of the century teacher with
its pages open. She picked it up, glanced through the content and saw the name
on the book.
“Tarun,
come here. You have done this math all wrong”
“Yes
maam”
“If Sundarabai had ten mangoes with her and she gave
two to her neighbor, how many are left with her?”
The insidious disease which slowly poisoned
Mrs. Rajeshwari’s life was insanity – Whether it was the insanity of her own
delusion or the insanity of snobbery by Ajay and Sanjana is debatable. Neither
Ajay’s wild consumerism nor Sanjana’s subjugation helped Mrs. Rajeshwari.
Unfortunately, this abandonment of the parents at their declining years has
become a savage indictment of almost every modern household of contemporary
India.
Whether it is unreasonable for parents to
expect care and compassion in their twilight years or parenthood ought not to
be regarded as a liability that children have to repay – Is for us to decide
