Saturday, May 5, 2018

The Wall - part-2



Chapter-2

Ajay could not believe what he had just witnessed. He took a step back and gestured Sanjana to come silently and see the horror for herself. They stood at the entrance of the backyard and just stared at each other in shock. Facing the wall, Mrs. Rajeshwari continued the conversation…..with imaginary Sundara Bai. Not just her voice, as Mrs. Rajeshwari switched characters, there were significant changes in her voice modulation, body language and her actions! Ajay had never seen such remarkable biological differences emerging out of the same body. Sanjana was shuddered! All these days, Sundara Bai was just a fictional character. And they did not get the slightest hint of this horror for two long months! They were dumbfounded of what had become of Mrs. Rajeshwari. 

It took a week for the psychiatrist to understand what had happened to Mrs. Rajeshwari. After knowing her early days at Bombay, assessing her medical history, her daily activities and with inputs from Ajay, psychiatrist concluded the case.

Dissociative identity disorder.

The Psychiatrist explained his mother’s case to Ajay.

“DID or multiple personality disorder is a mental disorder characterized by at least two distinct state of being in same person. Presentations, however, are very much variable between the characters.”

“But doctor, how could my mother….”

“There are lot of reasons why this can happen to a person. I believe, in your mother’s case, it is depression. Prolonged suppression of her feelings from a very young age had already disturbed her mind to a very large extent. And the loneliness that she experienced here worked as a catalyst. A tiny spark by Shanta Bai, your maid, is all it took for her to create Sundara Bai in her mind and eventually manifest out of her own body.” 

“Doctor, Can she come out of this?”

The doctor tried to be as assertive as possible.

“If the mind can do this to your own body, it also suggests that there is positively the same potential for healing… Because they are exhibited out of the same mind”.

“Please tell me that my mom will get back to normal”

“Well, most people do. But the timeframe cannot be ascertained specifically. Few get well within months and a few others take years! For the treatment, we’ll put her through a couple of therapies - psychotherapy will improve her mental well-being. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) which will help her combat the triggers that lead to the manifestation of Sundara Bai. And with a few medications, of course. But most importantly, the supportive care from you is very vital for her wellbeing”.

In the therapy room, where Mrs. Rajeshwari opened up slowly about her loneliness, how it affected her and how she buried her feelings deep inside her so that her son is not distressed, Ajay was standing outside, haplessly listening to the words of love his mother was showering on him even from her subconscious mind. Sanjana’s silence was a reflection of her regretful acknowledgement of what she did or did not do. When his mother talked about her suicidal ideations, he broke down. That was the moment of realization for him; that moment of epiphany which led him to get to the right perspective of what his mother actually longed for. At that very moment, he decided to do all he can to get his mother back to her usual self.

Over a period of time, the therapy sessions started showing results. The medication helped her increase the uptake of serotonin in the brain. She got back to her senses slowly. She started listening to her favorite bhajans. Her medication course was finally over and her circadian clock started functioning at normal schedule.  It took a profusion of time and effort for Mrs. Rajeshwari to come out of it. Sanjana resigned her high paying job and diverted her entire energy and attention for mother-in-law’s well-being. Ajay was equally getting involved in his mother’s well-being.

After a long time, a terrible constraint seemed to settle down. Without quite knowing what had happened, Mrs. Rajeshwari came back to life. Everything had changed. Yet nothing seemed so apparent except the wall at the backyard. Ajay knew that the wall would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Epilogue

Two years later….

The monsoon had just stopped with a mix of burst and lull. It was a very pleasant evening and the verandah was flocked with school kids taking mathematics tuitions from Mrs. Rajeshwari. The cool breeze that blew brought in a wave of freshness and filled the entire verandah. Along with the wind, a book glided smoothly and halted in front of the century teacher with its pages open. She picked it up, glanced through the content and saw the name on the book.

“Tarun, come here. You have done this math all wrong”

“Yes maam”

“If Sundarabai had ten mangoes with her and she gave two to her neighbor, how many are left with her?” 


The insidious disease which slowly poisoned Mrs. Rajeshwari’s life was insanity – Whether it was the insanity of her own delusion or the insanity of snobbery by Ajay and Sanjana is debatable. Neither Ajay’s wild consumerism nor Sanjana’s subjugation helped Mrs. Rajeshwari. Unfortunately, this abandonment of the parents at their declining years has become a savage indictment of almost every modern household of contemporary India. 

Whether it is unreasonable for parents to expect care and compassion in their twilight years or parenthood ought not to be regarded as a liability that children have to repay – Is for us to decide

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